Siptych

Now open in Primrose Hill, London

Low-latency coffee. High-frequency cuddles.

A high-frequency trading AI dog cafe. In London. With very good dogs. Our AI reads the order book, our dogs read the room, and you get the best flat white north of Regent's Park.

Meet the dogs See the menu
A corgi sitting beside a coffee cup, with a rising price chart behind them

Meet the trading desk

Four very good dogs, one AI that mostly suggests naps. Every one of them is available for a cuddle between market opens.

Illustration of Biscuit, a Corgi

Biscuit

Head of Latency

Corgi

Runs the co-located kennel next to the espresso machine. Has never once been late to a snack.

0.4 ms to the treat jar

Illustration of Mabel, a Dachshund

Mabel

Risk Officer

Dachshund

Approves every position by sniffing it. Long on belly rubs, short on squirrels.

Draws down only on sofas

Illustration of Pickles, a Whippet

Pickles

Market Maker

Whippet

Quotes both sides of every sausage roll. Fills instantly, always at mid.

Spread: one biscuit either side

Illustration of Ada, a Border Collie

Ada

Chief Model Officer

Border Collie

Our only staff member who actually reads the backtests. Prefers tennis balls to alpha.

Herds 10,000 signals an hour

The menu

Prices are quoted in sterling and, unlike our dogs, do not move in microseconds.

For humans

  • Flat White £3.60 Single origin, executed in 25 seconds.
  • Limit Order Latte £3.90 Made exactly how you asked, or not at all.
  • Dark Pool Americano £3.20 Nobody sees it coming.
  • Oat Flat White £4.00 For the risk-averse.

For dogs

  • Puppuccino £1.00 Whipped cream, zero volatility.
  • Blue-Chip Biscuit £1.50 Peanut butter. Holds its value.
  • Bull Market Bone £2.50 Only goes up (then disappears).

Come and sit with us

Dogs are on the floor whenever the cafe is open. Laptops are welcome; squeaky toys are provided.

Where

Primrose Hill, London. Two minutes from Chalk Farm tube, ten from the top of the hill, zero from the nearest squirrel.

When

07:00 to 19:00, every day the market is open (and most days it isn't).

House rules

Ask before you pet. Never feed the desk. Mabel is allowed on the sofa; you are not.